Pesto season is upon us

Someone recently asked me about this pesto post from last summer (and the summer before that), so here it is again:

Some of you have requested my pesto recipe, so I thought I would oblige during this season of abundant basil. This recipe originally came from my mother-in-law, Mary Ann, although I've changed it up enough to consider it mine. I will give you the main ingredients first and then tell you possible alternatives.

I have two pots of basil on my back deck. I buy starter plants around Memorial Day and by Labor Day or a little after, I typically have at least 15 batches of frozen pesto stored in my freezer to get us through the long winter months. (That's in additional to the weekly pesto pasta we eat all through the summer.) There is nothing like the taste of homemade pesto in the middle of an upstate New York winter. Grow some basil. Buy some basil. Savor the taste of summer any time of year.

1 cup of basil leaves, tightly packed
1/4 cup of fresh Italian parsley, stems removed
1/2 cup Extra Virgin Olive Oil
2 cloves garlic, minced or pressed
1/2 cup grated Parmesan (split in two 1/4 cup batches)
1/3 cup pine nuts (pignolis)
1 tsp. salt
Reserved pasta water, if needed

Extra pine nuts for toasting/topping pasta (optional)

Put all of the "dry" ingredients -- EXCEPT THE CHEESE -- into a food processor. Turn the motor on and drizzle the olive oil in slowly until it's well blended. This is going to be enough pesto sauce for two pounds of pasta, so, unless you're having company (or have a really big appetite), you're going to want to freeze at least half of this.

NOW, if you are going to eat one batch right away, mix 1/4 cup of Parmesan cheese in with it and you're good to go. Toss a pound of pasta into boiling salted water, take it off when it's al dente, mix it with the pesto sauce, and top it with some toasted pine nuts, if you're using them. (Be careful when toasting pine nuts, which you can do in a dry saute pan or in an oven on a cookie sheet. They can go from untoasted to blackened very quickly. I tend to burn at least one batch before I get it right. Every single time I do it. Drives Dennis crazy.) Also, save some pasta water in case the sauce is too thick. Just mix a bit of the pasta water into the sauce until you have the consistency you want.

IF you are going to freeze a batch, DO NOT mix the cheese into that batch. It doesn't taste as good when it defrosts if the cheese was frozen first. Instead, freeze the cheeseless sauce (I use the smallest of the Glad reusable containers for one batch); some people use ice cube trays so they can defrost in even smaller increments. Add the 1/4 cup of cheese later when you defrost it.

Alternatives: OK, I am not one to stick to a recipe, any recipe. In fact, I'm not happy unless I'm changing a recipe. My problem is that I usually can't remember what I did when I've done something especially good. But there are few options when making this pesto. Here they are...

Sometimes I add the fresh parsley, and sometimes, if I have lots of basil and zero parsley, I go with straight basil. I often use Romano instead of Parmesan cheese because that's what I usually have in my fridge. And sometimes -- and the purists out there might want to cover their ears for this -- I use walnuts or even sunflower seeds instead of the incredibly expensive pignolis. Now, I don't do that often and usually I label it so I know to serve it to my own clan and not company, but, really, you can't tell the difference. At least I can't.

Serve with additional grated cheese and a nice side salad (and a glass of wine, of course). Mangia!

Making our annual 'Beach Bucket List'

Summer has been off to a crazy start, as I prepare for the publication of one book and finish up writing another. That's why you haven't seen much of me in these parts. I'm hoping to be able to return with some lighthearted vacation posts next week, followed by more regular spiritual posts after that.

For now, however, here's my latest Life Lines column, which expands on something I first blogged about last summer:

Last summer we established a new tradition at our house: a summer list of things the kids want to do before they return to school in September. It’s sort of like a Bucket List for kids, or, in this case a Beach Bucket List. The kids liked the idea so much that when I suggested it they immediately got out a marker and a giant sheet of neon orange poster paper and started mapping out the details.

Family camping and tide pooling were listed alongside bike riding and making s’mores. They even listed a few oddities, such as repainting their bathroom, as well as some very basic things like swimming and gardening. Each item on our list had an empty box next to it, waiting for a check mark to show we’d fulfilled a wish or goal. We hung the list on our basement door so we could watch our progress over the days and weeks.

Sometimes there would be a flurry of Beach Bucket List activities, days when sleepovers and water slides and picnics collided all at the same time and allowed us to check off items in rapid succession. Other times things lingered unchecked – like family camping -- until the very end of summer, reminding us that some goals take time and planning and, dare I say, an extra dose of enthusiasm on mom and dad’s part. Even at that, our camping “trip” was in our own backyard, but the kids loved the tent and fire pit and eggs cooked outside in the early morning as much as if we’d driven an hour or two to real campsite.

We recently made this summer’s list. Clearly some things are going to be perennial favorites. Walking on the beach and going out for breakfast are probably always going to be on our list, no matter how the old our family gets. But we discovered some new twists. Chiara, almost 5 years old, added “coloring and crafts.” Olivia said she wants to meet up with a little girl she met at the beach last year and has been pen pals with ever since. And, of course, family camping – at an official campsite – is at the top.

Lots of people talk about making a Bucket List, based on the movie of the same name. And there’s something to be said for writing down our hopes and dreams so we can look at where we’ve been and where we want to go. The danger is when we fill our list with only those difficult-to-attain dreams, the things that may take us a lifetime to complete. Not everything has to be over-the-top.

We grown-ups have to learn to approach our own Bucket Lists with the enthusiasm of a 5-year-old on a summer afternoon. Sure, we may want the big stuff – a trip to Italy, a week-long silent retreat. But we can’t overlook the seemingly small stuff – sitting on the deck with the kids and watching the bats come out at night, picking apples from the tree, buying a bouquet of sunflowers for no reason at all.

Life is full of big moments, small moments and in-between moments. We have to relish each one as it comes along without getting hung up on the one that got away. By making a printed, taped-to-the-wall list, we can see our hopes – and our accomplishments – in plain sight, reminding us of all the good things that are yet to come with a little effort and a lot of trust.

So this summer I’m making my own Beach Bucket List. I’m guessing that many of my wishes will duplicate those of my kids. What a happy coincidence it will be when we simultaneously check off our accomplishments with fingers sticky from toasted marshmallows and hair sticky from salt water and sand.

To read previous Life Lines column, visit my website HERE.

Is technology reshaping your brain, your family, your life?

My post from OSV Daily Take today:

How many high-tech gadgets and gizmos have you used today -- or are you using right now? Cell phone? Facebook? Twitter? Google? iPod? iPad? Kindle? Video games? DVR playback? All of the above? Maybe even all at once?

Lately I've been worried about my own family's high-tech fascination, which I think is verging on obsession. To be fair, some of it is required. Both my husband, Dennis, and I have jobs that require us to be on social networking sites, Twitter and the like. But, I have to admit, that even when I'm supposed to be quickly posting a blog link or sending out a 140-character "tweet," I have to make multiple stops along the way to see what my 297 closest Facebook friends are doing, to check email once, twice, three times, to look at some of my favorite blogs, and to instant message Dennis about dinner. And I'm the low-tech person in our house. My husband can put my high-tech savvy to shame, and even our 13-year-old son is more at home throwing together a Powerpoint presentation than a good old-fashioned book report.

Just last night, unable to sleep, I was contemplating a bold move: suggesting we unplug one day a week and leave all high-tech gadgets at home when we go on vacation. (Even if it means I cannot post to this blog.) I didn't know if I had the nerve to suggest it. I knew I would be met with gasps and looks of stunned shock. Then I got out of bed, kept my idea to myself, resisted the urge to check email before I said good morning or poured a cup of coffee, and opened the New York Times. And there was the headline that has been spreading around the Internet like wildfire today: "Hooked on Gadgets, and Paying a Mental Price."

The story is a lengthy look at the toll our high-tech culture is taking on family life, individual creativity and even our collective evolutionary arc. We are, it seems, rewiring our brains by the way we interact with technology, jumping from one gadget to another, skimming bits of information from here and there but never settling down for something meaty. In fact, I found it kind of ironic that the story spanned three different pages and included two sidebars. Given the proclivity of high-tech junkies to speed read and bounce from one place to another, I'm surprised the Times thought we could handle something of this length. But it is so worth the read:

"Researchers say there is an evolutionary rationale for the pressure this barrage puts on the brain. The lower-brain functions alert humans to danger, like a nearby lion, overriding goals like building a hut. In the modern world, the chime of incoming email can override the goal of writing a business plan or playing catch with the children," the Times reports.

And the news gets worse:

"Researchers worry that constant digital stimulation like this creates attention problems for children with brains that are still developing, who already struggle to set priorities and resist impulses."

I've seen this in a very limited way in our own home. Our 13-year-old son has an iPod touch, mainly for music and some very basic applications. But I've turned around during an episode of American Idol, which we watch as a family, to find him looking at the TV, listening to his iPod while sitting in front of the family room computer waiting for his turn to view a planet on an astronomy website. Talk about overloading a young brain.

But putting a limit on some of this stuff is more difficult that you'd expect. It's not as easy to control as TV viewing or video games because it oozes into all different parts of life. Some of it, like the limited and very basic cell phone that allows him to call me for a ride or tell me he has safely arrived somewhere, has been a huge help. As have other things. He has the music capability on the iPod so that he can use it in music lessons or listen while he waits 30 minutes for me to arrive for pick-up. That's a good thing. He is involved in an online game that allows him to manage his own company, and it's been interesting to watch him figure out how to improve customer service and sales in his pretend airline conglomerate. That's not necessarily a bad thing in terms of "play" time. But he also has potentially non-stop access to mindless apps that distract him from homework, piano practice, and reading, which he once pursued with such enthusiasm that we had to set limits on his reading time and force him to do other things. Not so much anymore. And that's a bad thing.

I'm toying with the idea of suggesting technology-free Sundays, and the only way to do that is to shut down every computer and gadget in the house on Saturday night. I think it could be transforming for our family, although Dennis and I do have the issue of sometimes needing to handle work emails or posts -- even on Sundays and even though we both work for the Church. And I really like the idea of a technology-free vacation, which is a little more difficult but not impossible. (We tend to use our gadgets to look up directions to and phone numbers for museums and zoos, restaurants and beach attractions, proving that technology is not all bad.)

What are your technology issues? Does the good outweigh the bad? Do you find yourself or your family bogged down by the very technology that is supposed to free you up? Share your thoughts, tips, stories in our comment section. And to read the full New York Times story, if you can pull yourself away from Facebook and Twitter for a while, click HERE.

A promise deferred, a promise renewed

My latest Life Lines column:

Even before Chiara was born almost five years ago, I promised myself I would spend less time working and more time playing with the baby girl who graced me with her presence when I was almost 43. She was a special gift, a last chance to get this mommy-and-me work-from-home scenario just right. I announced it to Dennis. I vowed it silently. I would have lots of together time with this baby. But, as so often happens, life had other plans. Work did not slow down. I did not slow down.

Now, as Chiara finishes pre-school with kindergarten on the horizon, I find myself in a state of mourning. I want to stop time and make up for all our lost days, but I can't. Halfway through a new book project, I am racing toward the end of the school year at breakneck speed, watching our time together disappear like water circling around a drain. Even now, as I write this column, she is beside me, watching a favorite movie while I work. We are forever on parallel paths through the day, always together apart.

Where did the days and years go? What happened to all the leisurely strolls around the nature preserve I'd planned out in my mind? Or the afternoons I had hoped would be spent snuggled up on the couch with her favorite books? I'm sure Chiara will one day look back on her young life and remember her mother's most famous phrases: Not now. In a minute. Maybe tomorrow.

So when she had off from school one day this week, I decided to take her to a local bagel shop for lunch. She was thrilled, walking through the place like she owned it, sipping her chocolate milk and talking a mile a minute. About an hour later, when she was still nursing the same bagel, I found myself starting to twitch. My mind was racing over all the work I had due. I started to push her along, even as I wanted to ignore it all and revel in her storytelling. I realized in that moment that even when I am with Chiara, I am often not fully there. My mind is always working. I've become so adept at multi-tasking it seems I no longer know how to do just one thing at a time, especially if that one thing is nothing in particular.

It's funny, but in my spiritual life I often talk about the importance of mindful eating, that through slow and purposeful eating we can turn a meal into prayer. Then when that slow and purposeful eating is staring at me with big brown eyes, I look at my watch and tap my foot. Even as I urged Chiara to eat faster, I was aware of the contradictions—and lost opportunities.

There's no easy answer to this challenge that many moms face, but I think the key is balance, a balance we create. A day we say no to a new commitment. A week we go on vacation without the laptop. A summer when we take even one day a week just to sit at the pool with the kids.

I have three more months with Chiara—and soon the other two kids—before school starts again. I can continue at my current crazy pace, bouncing from one computer to another, so frazzled that I barely remember what I was looking for when I went into a room. Or I can move at Chiara's speed, savoring lunch, looking at every flower in the yard, spinning and swinging and blowing bubbles every which way.

Five years ago, I made myself a promise. This summer I plan to live up to my end of the bargain. Why don't you join me? Find that place of balance in your life, a place where work and home and spirituality all happily coexist. Then we'll check back in the fall to see how we did.

To read previous Life Lines columns, visit my website HERE.

Friday surprise - an unexpected book review

I needed a lift today, and there it was -- unexpected but right on time -- waiting in my email inbox this morning. Glastonbury Abbey in Massachusetts has posted a very cool review of my Complete Idiot's Guide to the Catholic Catechism, which is such a treat because it's been two years since publication. Reviews at this late stage really are a gift.

Here's what the reviewer had to say:

BOOK REVIEWS
by Bruce McCabe


The Complete Idiot’s Guide to “The Catholic Catechism”
By Mary DeTurris Poust with Theological Advisor David J. Fulton, STD, JCD

A funny thing happened while I was reading this guide to the Catholic Catechism. I learned why pride could be considered a sin.

One thing the book has going for it is its accessibility. It’s more, dare I say it, accessible than the bible. Of course, we read the bible, if at all, for different reasons. We want reassurance. You don’t read this book for reassurance. It can provoke you.
It tackles hot-button issues like sin, celibacy, abortion euthanasia, the death penalty, adultery --- no euphemisms like “cheating”--- divorce, birth control, homosexuality, and other broader issues like equity in wages, the right to work, preserving the environment and even the need to banish greed and envy. Talk about tall orders.

You might think, as I do, that sin is something like beauty, i.e., in the eye of the beholder. The guide has no truck with that. It dismisses rationalizations referring to human weaknesses or character flaws and labels it flatly as “a turning away from God’s plan and an abuse of the freedom (God) gave us.”

lthough pride, I’ve decided, can be a good thing, I’ve also come to see it as being something of a double-edged sword. You can be proud of something that’s at least dubious and that to some might be considered objectionable. For example, maybe what you’re proud of is your willfulness or stubborn refusal to consider other possibilities.

The guide conveys a sense of knowing and explaining to you most if not all of what Catholics believe or are supposed to believe. It gives resonance to the mass and its rituals, giving them more meaning we don’t always hearken to. In a way, we’re so accustomed to them, we may overlook them or take for granted their poetry, symmetry, symbolism or metaphorical significance.

Maybe the attraction of this book is that it shows you what it takes to be a “good” or “practicing” Catholic regardless of how you see yourself. In a sense, it gives you the idea that maybe you should look at yourself in a philosophical mirror. Take a look at what you believe and why and how you got there. It takes a lot to be “good.” Maybe more than you ever thought about.

(Note: There are also “Complete Idiot’s Guides” to “Faith,” “The Bible,” “Understanding Catholicism” and “Christian Prayers & Devotions.” As the owner of “Complete Idiot’s Guides to jazz, wines and creative writing, I can attest to their readability).

Glastonbury Abbey looks like a beautiful place. Check out the review online HERE and the general site HERE. And thank you to Denny, my friend and college journalism professor, for passing on the link. Otherwise, I never would have known about it. Denny is the one who turned my head toward writing as a career, so I have him to thank. Or blame.

Holy, Holy, Holy

We sang the traditional version of this song at Mass yesterday for Trinity Sunday. I love it when they pull these old favorites out of the vault because everyone joins in, voices raised to the max. The beautiful version above comes via my friend Fran at There Will Be Bread (Thanks, Fran!) via our friend Paul at Between the 'Burgh and the City. Go visit their blogs to see what they're up to. Then listen to this haunting interpretation of this old favorite and contemplate this awesome faith of ours. God in three persons, blessed Trinity.

And if that's not enough, head over to my wildly outdated Catechism Corner to see more on the Trinity HERE and HERE.

Merton's influence on the Dalai Lama

My May 26 post from OSV Daily Take:

Today, in an op-ed piece in the New York Times, the 14th Dalai Lama writes about his belief in the need for world religions to work together and to learn from one another. He says his moment of clarity on this issue came not from a fellow Buddhist but from Thomas Merton, the Trappist monk whose writings on Eastern spirituality have garnered him as much criticism as they have praise.

As a huge fan of Merton, I know the power of his words, even when I don't fully understand the depth of what he has written. His words take hold of me and resonate somewhere deep, allowing me to listen with the 'ear of my heart,' as St. Benedict taught, even when I'm figuratively scratching my head in confusion.

Both Merton and the Dalai Lama are right: We need to find a way to respect one another, to dialogue and learn from the best of our traditions. And we can learn from each other without losing ourselves or our faith.

Merton wrote in Zen and the Birds of Appetite: "When we set Christianity and Buddhism side by side, we must try to find the points where a genuinely common ground between the two exists." He went on to write that to compare the two faiths would be like comparing mathematics and tennis. Obviously the differences between Buddhists and Christians, Jews and Muslims and Hindus are great and not easily reconciled, and yet, in our ever-shrinking global village, where we are so interconnected, it is imperative that we find a way to do what Merton suggested more than 40 years ago.

Today the Dalai Lama writes:

"A main point in my discussion with Merton was how central compassion was to the message of both Christianity and Buddhism. In my readings of the New Testament, I find myself inspired by Jesus’ acts of compassion. His miracle of the loaves and fishes, his healing and his teaching are all motivated by the desire to relieve suffering.

"I’m a firm believer in the power of personal contact to bridge differences, so I’ve long been drawn to dialogues with people of other religious outlooks. The focus on compassion that Merton and I observed in our two religions strikes me as a strong unifying thread among all the major faiths. And these days we need to highlight what unifies us."

Read the full op-ed piece HERE, and then share your thoughts in the comment section.

I'll be tweeting about the catechism today

Join me for a live Tweetchat on Twitter at noon ET today. I'll be talking about The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Catholic Catechism and Catholicism in general. All in bursts of 140 characters or less. Am I up to the challenge? Sign on, ask a question and find out! All you have to do is use #AskCIG in your question. That will put you in the right place. Or, if you'd rather just follow along, search for #AskCIG and you'll see the conversation going by.

Come on. Isn't this a great way to spend your lunch hour? See you on Twitter.

Here's the cover of my newest book

I am very happy to share with all of you the cover of my newest book, Walking Together: Discovering the Catholic Tradition of Spiritual Friendship, which will be published by Ave Maria Press in November. You can actually pre-order through amazon HERE if you just can't wait to snag your copy. I'll be sharing lots more news about this book as we get closer to the publication date.

Here's the front-cover blurb from the book's foreword by Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle, catholic author and host of EWTN's Everyday Blessings for Catholic Moms: "Exquisite! Will help others open their eyes to the beauty within their friendships." Thanks again, Donna, for the beautiful foreword to this book.

Inside you'll discover the blessings of spiritual friendships, those relationships that take friendship to another level -- a faith level. I've used stories from my own life, from the lives of kind people who were willing to share with me, and from the lives of the saints. And there are reflection questions and meditations at the end of each chapter for those who want to use this book as a study guide or for group discussions. That's it in a nutshell for now.

I've created a "fan" page on Facebook where I'll post regular updates about all of my books, speaking engagements, etc. So click HERE to go that page and then click "like" to become a fan. You can also go through the Facebook box on the top left side of this screen.

If you click on the image of the cover, you can see a larger version.

The joys, challenges of Catholic motherhood

From the May 9 issue of OSV:

By Mary DeTurris Poust

Mothers are often divided into categories: stay-at-home mom, working mom, soccer mom, super mom. But any mother will tell you that no single label could possibly capture the essence of what she does on any given day while caring for her children. Mothers are known to be champion multi-taskers, somehow managing to make dinner while helping with homework, doing laundry and, often, handling outside work and volunteer responsibilities all at the same time.

While the multi-tasking may help get the job of mothering done on a daily basis, it can take its toll on a mom over the long haul. Faced with myriad challenges and chores, many moms forgo things for themselves, from quiet time for prayer to social time with friends. But the truth is that a stressed and unhappy mom can lead to a stressed and unhappy family.

Think about it this way...Continue reading...

Finding meaning and blessings in sorrow

By Mary DeTurris Poust

Today's featured Catholic mom-writer is Cathy Adamkiewicz, communications director and editor of PIME World Magazine and the author of Broken and Blessed: A Life Story, an incredibly powerful book about her daughter Celeste, who died at only four months old due to a rare heart defect. I picked up Broken and Blessed one night a while back and could not put it down until I was finished. It is the beautiful story not only of a short life well lived but of a mother's steadfast faith in the face of unbearable suffering.

I know that for some moms this Mother's Day will not be easy or happy because they are suffering with children who are sick or are grieving children who are gone, so I asked Cathy if she could offer some words of healing to those mothers. What she had to say will touch the heart of every mother (and father):

"It seems mothers' hearts are made to be broken. They break a little each day as our children grow and move away from us. Every time they get hurt - which of course they all do - it hurts us, too, because we are bonded to our children in such a unique way. But for those of us who lose a child to death, the heartbreak is so intense that there are really no words for it...

"Five years after my daughter's death, I feel the pain just as intensely, but because there is truth to the old adage about time healing all wounds - even wounds like this - I seem to feel the pain less often.

"Truthfully, I can't imagine getting through such a loss without a relationship with Jesus. When people ask me 'How did you do it?' all I can say is 'Jesus.' I say it not to make myself sound pious. It's just the truth.

"From the moment Celeste was born, I threw everything - my pain, my worry, my stress about her condition, my hope - right back at God. It was simply too big for me to handle. I felt tiny and weak, and so very helpless. My daughter's suffering and the fact that she might never come home were such big crosses that I wanted to run away, but I couldn't. So I told Jesus that I trusted Him. And I gave her back to Him, because she was never really 'mine' to begin with.

"I also found a renewal of my relationship with the Blessed Mother. She could understand my suffering better than anyone. She knew what it was like to watch an innocent child suffer. Each day when I left the hospital, I left Celeste in her arms. Today I still do that with my other children when I'm worried about them or can't be near them.

"In the past five years I've learned a lot about life from my Celeste. I learned that every single life is incredibly precious - and MEANINGFUL. Each of us has a unique purpose. It comforted me immensely to know that God had a plan for my daughter, and that she fulfilled it. I also learned to worry less about the small things in life, and to really enjoy the beauty in every day. I'm reminded continually that 'our value in is our being, not our doing.' Each life - no matter how brief - is a tremendous gift to our world from a loving Father."

To visit Cathy's blog, "From the Field of Blue Children," click HERE. For more information on her book, click HERE.

Bring flowers of the fairest...

Well, to Chiara a dandelion IS a flower of the fairest and rarest.

I always find a sunny little dandelion offering in Our Lady of Guadalupe's hands after Chiara has spent time in the backyard. Either we need some serious weed killer or we need to adjust our opinion of the lowly dandelion.

I think Our Lady likes it just the same as a big bouquet of roses, especially since it's coming from an innocent little girl who leaves it there with such joy and tenderness. If only we could all approach Mary with the same childlike enthusiasm.

Marriage and Motherhood

Today's featured Catholic mom-writer is Lisa Hendey, creator of the wildly popular CatholicMom.com and author of the recently released "Handbook for Catholic Moms: Nurturing Your Heart, Mind, Body and Soul" (Ave Maria Press). Lisa's new book covers just about every aspect of motherhood, from budgets and menus to prayer and organization, but today I want to focus on the fact that this book about motherhood starts not with children but with marriage.

Here's what Lisa had to say about that:

"I had such a wonderful role model in my own parents, who raised five of us. I’m the oldest of five. And they really always prioritized their time together. It wasn’t always go out on a date night, but it was very clear to us that they truly and deeply loved each other, that they had fun with one another, and they demonstrated that in front of us. That gave all of us a very healthy role model for what a happy Catholic marriage looks like. Certainly they had their stressful or difficult times, but we had enough of those really happy times where they just enjoyed each other’s company and clearly had fun together.

"One of the things in my own marriage, being married to somebody who didn’t share my faith for a long time -- although he was incredibly supportive of it -- was that there was a big hole. We talk a lot about a sacramental marriage and putting Christ at the center of our marriage, but I wasn’t quite sure what that looked like in my life because we didn’t sit down and pray the Rosary together. Just looking at serving Christ by serving my spouse has been a huge thing for me, and the joy of that relationship and modeling that for my kids so they have a healthy sense of what a happy marriage looks like.

"For many mothers, the key to motherhood begins with marriage, with becoming one with your spouse and complementing your personal identity with being in that relationship. The fact that that comes first I think is a great precursor to motherhood where you put the demands and the needs of others sometimes ahead of your own."

Lisa's comments were a good reminder for me. What do my children see when they look at me and my husband -- co-workers who are getting a job done or true partners who demonstrate on a daily basis what it means to live out our vocations as spouses and parents with Christ at the heart of our home?

The "Handbook for Catholic Moms" is filled with stories, advice, practical tips and spiritual inspiration for mothers from every walk of life and in every type of mothering situation. To learn more, visit Lisa's website by clicking HERE. Lisa is also featured in my story on Catholic motherhood in the May 9 issue of OSV, which is available to subscribers by clicking HERE.

Helping moms grow in faith one step at a time

In today's post on Catholic mom-writers, I'm talking with Danielle Bean, mother of eight, editorial director of Faith & Family, and author (with Elizabeth Foss) of the newly released "Small Steps for Catholic Moms: Think. Pray. Act. Every Day" (Circle Press). Danielle talked to me about the need for Catholic mothers to support each other and to find ways to bring prayer into the daily events of their lives.

"We women are so great at tearing each other apart. As much as we’re great at tearing each other apart, we can get great at building each other up and encouraging each other in Christian living. That’s something we want to encourage more women to do in their parishes and their communities or even with just a couple of friends or online because connecting with other women is such a powerful thing," says Danielle, whose new book has a prayer journal/study guide companion piece to help moms grow in faith on their own or in a group setting.

As a busy mom herself, Danielle recognizes that it's not always easy for mothers to fit long sessions of formal prayer into days that often include running from soccer games and volunteer activities to making dinner and helping with school work. The key for Catholic moms, she says, is to remember that even "attaching bits of prayer" to certain times or events of the day can add up to big spiritual gains. Those 'small steps' are pleasing to God and lead to big steps in the end.

"Ultimately the goal for anybody who is living an active vocation is to recognize that that does not have to be contradictory to growing closer in your relationship with God and advancing in holiness because this is what God intends for you. It doesn’t mean that you can’t have a Christ-centered life because you’re busy with all these things. I think the key is recognizing the way in which God intends you to do that. Maybe He doesn’t mean for you to spend hours every day in prayer before the Blessed Sacrament, but He may very well mean for you to turn your heart toward Him many times a day that would add up to a lot more.

"I always think about how when my toddler was 2- or 3-years-old, how they want to share everything with me. Whether they get hurt or if they have some accomplishment when they’re playing with a toy or building something, their first instinct is to turn toward me, to share that moment with me. It’s like it’s not complete for them until they’ve shared it with me. I find that so precious and I try to keep it in mind because we’re all children of God and that’s what He wants from us too, for us to have that natural inclination of turning toward Him in all of our joys and sorrows and to never consider any part of our day complete until we share it with Him, until we experience it with Him."

To learn more about "Small Steps," visit Danielle's website by clicking HERE, or visit the Small Steps blog HERE. Check the May 9 issue of Our Sunday Visitor for my feature story on Catholic motherhood, which includes a longer interview with Danielle, by clicking HERE (open to subscribers only).

Affirming Catholic mothers

This week, in anticipation of Mother’s Day, I will be featuring interviews with and books by Catholic moms over at OSV Daily Take. (I'll repost here at the end of the day.) Today I’m talking with Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle, author, speaker and host of EWTN’s “Everyday Blessings for Catholic Moms.” Her first book was the “Catholic Prayer Book for Mothers” (Our Sunday Visitor, 2005), which immediately hit the Catholic bestseller list. She followed that up with “The Heart of Motherhood: Finding Holiness in the Catholic Home” (Crossroad Publishing, 2006). Here’s what Donna had to say in an email interview about Catholic moms and the struggles they face:

“I wrote ‘The Heart of Motherhood’ because I felt passionately about wanting to help encourage Catholic and Christian mothers who seldom get a pat on the back for a job well done in the home -- their domestic church. I know it's not easy for a mother to hold her head up high in our world today where motherhood was once a revered vocation. Our culture dictates to us that our worth is measured by the size of our paycheck,” Donna said.

Donna, who is also the author of “Mother Teresa and Me: Ten Years of Friendship” (Circle Press, 2009), says Catholic moms need affirmation as they face unique challenges, working hard to care for their families while trying to make regular time for God.

“As much as they may try to set aside certain prayer times, they invariably get interrupted by a myriad of demands that most times require their immediate attention because they are dealing with children,” she explained. “I try to get across in my books and talks that a faithful mother who is striving to care for her children devotedly pleases God immensely. After all, it is God who has placed her in the heart of the home to raise her children.”

Donna’s newest book, “A Catholic Woman’s Book of Prayers,” will be published by Our Sunday Visitor in September. Click HERE for more information and to visit Donna’s website.

Check back here tomorrow for another perspective on Catholic motherhood.