Tuesday, July 24, 2012

To-die-for mud pie

When Chiara's birthday rolled around this year, she opted for pie rather than cake for her party dessert. Initially I thought, pie?!? I'm not a huge pie fan, and, as my sister-in-law and I have discussed, you're either a pie person or you're not. Well, if you're not a pie person, this pie will make a believer out of you. Because it's not "real" pie; it's mud pie. Thick, chocolate-y, creamy mud pie. It's got layers of chocolate graham cracker crumbs and chocolate ice cream shot through with chocolate fudge and chocolate chips and covered in chocolate cream. What's not to love?

The recipe for Ray's Mud Pie, believe it or not, is from a Disney cookbook that ties in with the Princess and the Frog movie: Tiana's Cookbook. It's the perfect summer splurge.

20 whole chocolate graham crackers
6 Tbl melted butter
1 Qt Chocolate ice cream
1/2 cup chocolate fudge topping
1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1 cup heavy cream
1/4 cup powdered hot cocoa mix

Seal the graham crackers in a large plastic bag and crush with a rolling pin until they resemble dirt. Stir 1 1/2 cups of crumbs into melted butter. Pour the mixture into a 9-inch pie pan.
When the crumbs have cooled, press them against the bottom and sides of the pan to form pie crust. Freeze the crust for 20 minutes.

Scoop half the ice cream into a bowl and let it soften about 10 minutes. Then spread it in the chilled crust. Dig eight holes in the ice cream and fill with a tablespoon of fudge topping "mud." Freeze the crust for another 10 minutes.

Stir chocolate chips "rocks" into the remaining ice cream and spread it over the pie. Return the pie to freezer for 10 minutes.

Beat the heavy cream at high speed until cream begins to thicken. Add cocoa mix and beat until it begins to stiffen. Spread the whipped cream evenly over the pie and sprinkle with the remaining cracker crumbs.

Wrap the pie in plastic and freeze for 3-4 hours before serving. Serves 8

Monday, July 23, 2012

A week without Facebook, and why I'm back

Last week, for the second time in a month, I decided to deactivate my Facebook account. I've taken brief sabbaticals from social media before, but closing my account, even briefly, made it feel more drastic, and I wanted and needed drastic.

My most most recent break lasted about one week. Mainly I wanted to get away from the habit of Facebook, but I have to admit that it went deeper than that. I was doing some soul searching, and I really started to ask myself, "Who cares if you made a delicious farro salad last night? Who cares what your kids did this weekend? Who cares about your crazy work deadlines?" I started to believe that perhaps Facebook is nothing more than a modern-day version of navel-gazing at best, narcissism gone mad at worst. And so I deactivated, hoping to discover that Facebook was totally unnecessary, even for those of us who kind of need it for promoting books, posting blogs, and spreading the Good News.

The first day went by without much fanfare. Although I'd occasionally walk over to my computer, thinking I'd pop in to see what everyone was up to, I didn't really miss it. In fact, it was a welcome break. But issues began to mount pretty quickly after that. I couldn't even update or access my own author page because you need a personal page to get to it. Dennis had to post my blog entries for me. Oh the tangled webs we weave. Within a couple of days, it became apparent that this sabbatical was going to be more difficult than previously expected and possibly detrimental to my real-life friendships.

One friend's mother died. Another friend's sister was suddenly faced with life-threatening illness. Another friend asked for prayers for a little girl on our prayer list because she was in a fight for her life. I knew about these prayer needs only because Dennis was getting them through his own page and was forwarding the really important stuff to me via email. Suddenly I started to realize that Facebook has become a significant part of my spiritual life. I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. I don't even know how many other prayer requests (not to mention delicious recipes, inspiring quotes, and funny clips) I might have missed while I was away.

I also began to miss my distant friends, people I love but only get to "visit" and see through Facebook. Without my news feed, I had no idea what they were doing or if they needed anything or if they had any wonderful news to share. I couldn't even email some friends and neighbors because my only access to them is through social media. Maybe that says more about my contact organization system than it does about Facebook, but, either way,  I need this outlet to connect, especially since I'm already so isolated in my home office.

And so I reactivated, tentatively at first, posting only birthday wishes for my baby because who could argue with that. I still haven't decided what I want Facebook to be in my life or how much time it deserves, but there's no denying that it has its place, and an important one at that. So if I missed your birthday or some other important life event, please know I wasn't ignoring you; I was just deactivated, and I missed you all.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Happy Birthday, baby

Seven years ago today my beautiful and brave Chiara Elizabeth was born. Seven. Where did the time go? Seven years ago at this time I was waiting for my castor oil cocktail to kick in so I could bring on my extremely overdue delivery without being induced via IV. Called my midwife, told her what I did and to expect me later that day. Right around noon labor kicked in, right on schedule. At just about 7:30 p.m, Chiara entered the world, and what joy she has brought to our family ever since.

I've written a lot about the benefits of being an older mom -- I was just about 43 when Chiara was born -- because every day I am the one who continues to learn new lessons from this fearless little being. Just a few weeks ago Chiara's absolute courage at the top of the Shotgun Falls at a Wildwood water park inspired me to go down on the chute next to her. Two days ago she insisted on going off the diving boards at the town pool, something I have yet to do. Although I am often hesitant to let her do things out of my own fear, she will have none of that.

Her enthusiasm and sensitivity, her courage and kindness teach me on a daily basis how to be a better person. Happy birthday, baby. I love you, and I'm so glad I decided to forget my old age and become a mom one more time.

Here's a snapshot view of Chiara's life:





































































Thursday, July 19, 2012

You can get there from here

My July Life Lines column, now running in Catholic New York:

I’m not really a fan of the popular GPS navigation systems designed to get you from Point A to Point B with no advance planning. I just don’t trust the technology. Give me “Mapquest,” with its printable directions, or, even better, a good old-fashioned road map. Remember those?

Dennis bought a portable GPS for our van a few months back. The first time I had to travel out of state, he loaded it up with my destination coordinates and told me I had nothing to worry about. Since I always have something to worry about, I went on the computer and printed out directions, studying them before I left home so I would know if our GPS, whom we affectionately refer to as Katniss in honor of the Hunger Games heroine, decided to lead me astray. Every time Katniss would bark out a command, I’d run through my mental directions to ensure we agreed on the route. I was prepared, at a moment’s notice, to go my own way.

Dennis, on the other hand, trusts GPS Katniss implicitly. On a recent trip to the Bronx Zoo, a path he has driven many times to a neighborhood not far from where we used to live, he decided to defer to Katniss when she instructed us to get off the highway and take an unknown route through New Jersey. I said, “No way,” when I heard her instructions. Dennis said, “Let’s see.”

Maybe if our GPS could show me in advance exactly what she had planned, I’d be able to handle the sudden switch, but going mile by mile, never knowing where she’ll take us next is just a little too much for my Type-A, obsessively planned out existence. I want to be in control. I want to know all of the twists and turns at the outset.

Wait a minute. That sounds familiar. I seem to take the same control-based approach in my spiritual life. One of my biggest spiritual “problems” has to be my inability to trust I will get to my destination -- my destiny -- without knowing the exact route, and maybe even with some annoying physical or spiritual detours along the way.

So much of our spiritual journey is about trusting that what’s ahead will get us where we need to be, where we’re meant to be, even when the path seems totally off course and through a terrible section of highway. We want to stay with the tried and true: the prayer methods that always used to work, even when they no longer seem to be working; the tight-fisted hold of the spiritual reins, when what God really requires is a loosening, a surrendering; the days we fill with spiritual and mental “busywork,” instead of sinking into silence so we can better accept and understand why we’re being told to take a turn into uncharted waters.

Every time I find myself heading in a spiritual direction that feels unfamiliar or like a possible dead end, I begin my own version of the GPS “recalculating” default. I start trying to figure everything out so I can right my listing ship. I seek out books that might give me answers, work myself into a spiritual tizzy with anxiety over what might be coming next, talk till I’m blue in the face in hopes of figuring it all out.

The day we went off course on the way to the Bronx Zoo, it looked like Katniss had won the day, and then we hit the inevitable standstill traffic due to construction. I felt myself tense up, thinking we would have been just fine if only we’d stayed with our usual route. But we still got there, and in plenty of time to catch the sea lion feeding, as we had hoped. We just didn’t get there the way we originally planned. And maybe sometimes that’s half the fun -- in life and in prayer.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

What would you do if you were fearless?

"Do one thing every day that scares you." -- Eleanor Roosevelt

This moth makes me think of that quote from Eleanor Roosevelt. Imagine how fearless this little moth must be to land on the hand of a giant human. Anything could have happened. But there he is.

What would you do if you were fearless? Where would you land? Do one thing today that scares you. It doesn't have to be as big as stepping out into some totally unknown and possibly dangerous place. Start small. But start.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Happy Birthday, Olivia

Twelve years ago (actually the real anniversary happened at 2:57 a.m. today), I was waiting -- not so patiently -- for my second born to arrive. She was a week overdue and predicted to be quite large. They were preparing to induce me since my blood pressure was starting to rise. But I didn't want any medication whatsoever. So my wonderful midwife -- the same one who helped me birth Noah -- called me up around 7:30 p.m. on July 5 and told me that if I really wanted to do this without intervention, I could drink a castor oil-orange juice-baking soda cocktail and see if it worked for me. I drank it about an hour later, and around 1:30 a.m. I woke up in hard labor.

With Noah labor went on for a while. The first time around, I ate an egg breakfast, took down our Christmas tree, paid some bills and did some cleaning, all with contractions about five minutes apart. I expected more of the same with Olivia. When Dennis called the midwife around 2 a.m. and told her I was already on the floor, she told us to high-tail it to the hospital, which we did -- with me insisting that we could park in the regular garage instead of emergency. But, fortunately, calmer heads prevailed and we parked in ER, zoomed up to labor and delivery and waited for my sister to arrive to watch Noah and the midwife to arrive to catch the baby. Midwife got there and immediately put on scrubs, which confused me since I expected to walk around and breathe heavily for a while. Nothing doing. We called my sister to find out why she wasn't there yet (We wanted Noah present for the birth but knew we needed an adult to keep an eye on him). The car was still parked in ER. The camera was nowhere to be found. Noah was shoeless because of our mad dash out of the house. It was all a blur.

Less than 30 minutes after I entered the hospital, and only minutes after my sister arrived to hold Noah's hand, Olivia Irene blasted onto the scene -- all 10 pounds of her. I don't really even remember pushing. Maybe once. She just powered her way out and then proved herself to be a champion nurser to boot.

Twelve years later, I look at my girl in amazement. She is smart and funny and beautiful and artistic and athletic and curious and kind and all of the things I had hoped she would one day be. She was a gift when she arrived in that Austin hospital in the wee hours of the morning, and she is a gift today. We are blessed. Happy birthday Olivia. We love you. Here's a brief look at Olivia's life in photos...

Her baptism in Austin in the chapel at St. Edward's University with Deacon Orton and godparents Aunt Linda and Uncle Fred:


At E-ma's 90th birthday party almost ten years ago:

















Thursday, July 5, 2012

And the not-so-mindful Jersey Shore

While the mindful side of the Jersey Shore is something special and under appreciated, I would be remiss if I did not also mention the totally mindless side of Wildwood. It's like the yin and yang of shore vacations.

We're just back from our second trip to Morey's Piers. We braved it this afternoon in 95 degree heat in order to get two-for-one rides. Lots of waters and Polish Water Ices were had. 

Without further ado, here's the fun and noisy side of the Wildwood...

See that upside down, corkscrew coaster in the photo above? Dennis is smack dab in the middle of it, feet flying through the air.
 Yes, they truly will deep fry anything here. 

 We opted for fried Oreos. Insanely delicious.

 Noah is up there on the swings.

 Dennis and the kids ride the Doo Wop coaster.

No comment necessary.
 Kang A Bounce: The Sequel

 Dennis, Noah, and Liv splash down on the flume.

The kiddie section of Raging Waters. My mindful spot is at the very back.

Finding mindfulness at the Jersey Shore

Unfortunately, when people hear the words "Jersey Shore" these days, they more often than not think of that awful show of the same name. Although I've never seen even one minute of said show, I've been subjected to enough of the unavoidable supermarket rag headlines to know that it doesn't portray an especially positive, pretty, or peaceful view of what really is an incredibly beautiful place.

Summer doesn't feel complete if I don't get to the ocean at least once, not necessarily for the swimming but for the sound of the waves, the feel of the sand, the endless stretch of sky meeting water somewhere beyond my view. Even with its noisy boardwalk and deep-fried everything, smokers at every turn, and the occasional loud college kids waking up the beach complex at 1 a.m., the Jersey Shore can be a place for mindfulness, contemplation, solitude, and silence.

When I took Olivia for a walk down the crowded beach in search of pretty shells,  it took on the feel of a meditation as I focused my attention on the sand right in front of me. Step by step, wave by wave, everything else faded away and it was just me and my girl in a quiet and beautiful world. A similar thing happened when Chiara and I went tide-pooling, wading into the shallows left behind as the tide went out in search of hermit crabs and minnows looking for a way back to sea. There was something deeply spiritual about our mutual excitement over finding one small crab scurrying near our feet or one giant horseshoe crab moving slowly through the sand.

Even Raging Waters water park on the boardwalk became an opportunity for quiet contemplation as I sat facing the ocean with dozens of children splashing around behind me in the kiddie section. From my vantage point, all I could see was ocean and sand, a roller coaster in stillness in the distance, and an occasional parasailor quietly floating across the bright blue sky. The sight of parents and children carting coolers and sand buckets to the beach below filled my heart with joy as I thought about all the families around me just trying to create a few special memories here on the sands of the Atlantic coast.

We've got a few more days in sunny, sandy New Jersey, and I'm looking forward to discovering more stolen moments of mindfulness amid the shrieks and squeals of the real Jersey Shore.

Here are a few more photos from our trip so far:


 In the gardens at Hereford Lighthouse, just a short walk down the sea wall from our condo.


 A view of the Atlantic from the beginning of the boardwalk.


The entrance to the Wildwood boardwalk.

Friday, June 15, 2012

A meal so good I brought back Foodie Friday

 As you may know, Foodie Friday has been on hiatus for quite a while, but today's lunch was so awesome, I had to bring it back if only to share the photo.

Feast your eyes on this lunch from Chef Michael Mastrantuono of Milestone Restaurant in Glenmont. Lobster mac and cheese with a delicious house salad. See that dark piece of what looks like browned pasta in my little crock of heaven? Not pasta. That's an entire piece of claw meat. The chunks of lobster in this totally decadent and delicious meal were so big I needed to cut them multiple times. This was absolutely the real deal -- half a lobster worth of meat, I was told. And the cheese sauce? To die for.

Dennis opted for another lunch special, the fish and chips, which was tempura-battered cod served over hand-cut fries. He said it was the best fish fry he'd ever had. You can catch a glimpse of it in the photo on the right.  Yummy looking, no?

I can't show you a photo of Noah's Milestone Burger because he was so anxious to dig right in, there was no time to snap a picture. But he declared it the best burger ever, with its ancho chili sauce on the side, a homemade pickle and a big batch of those awesome hand-cut fries. (I may have tried a few despite being stuffed to the gills with lobster and cheese sauce.)

Capital Region friends, get to Milestone. The food is really unbelievable, and the fact that owner Chef Mike is only 21 years old gives it a great back story to go along with the great food. We were there for our anniversary dinner in April, when we were first wowed by Chef Mike's talent. I had a fabulous entree of seared scallops atop little risotto cakes. Dennis had the osso bucco, and we split an order of calamari. Everything was cooked to perfection, and on Sundays you get any bottle of wine half-price. What a deal.

Now, maybe you've driven by this place and think: Really? Am I going to dine in a restaurant with a truck yard behind it, an Econo-Lodge in a state of expansion next door, and a highway out front? Yes. You should go there and ignore that stuff. Get inside, where the stone work is beautiful, and the bar area is intimate and lovely and includes the piano that Liberace once played on a visit to the place when it was Stone Ends. Milestone pays homage to its earliest incarnation by keeping the sign, original menu, and celebrity photos hanging on the stairs in the bar area. Be sure to check it out. Lots of famous faces from the past.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Where the 'Amen' meets the 'Om'

As I put the finishing touches on my application for a 200-hour certified yoga teacher training program that begins in September, I thought it would be appropriate to re-run this essay, which originally appeared at the Catholic portal of Patheos.com. It's also fitting because my next book, Everyday Divine: A Catholic Guide to Active Spirituality will include a chapter on bringing the body into prayer.

By Mary DeTurris Poust

When I took my first yoga class more than twenty years ago, I was in a bit of a crisis in terms of the Catholic faith of my birth. My mother had recently died and I had moved out of my family home and across the country. I was searching in so many ways and came upon yoga through a friend who knew a teacher who held classes in her home. There, on a mat in an empty living room, I learned how to stretch and settle my body in new ways, ways that allowed me to more easily enter a spiritual realm that has always beckoned to me.

So began my odyssey into an Eastern world that some would have us believe is not only incompatible with Roman Catholic faith but dangerous to it. Of all the posts I put on Facebook, anything having to do with yoga is sure to stir up ominous warnings. I have been told, on more than one occasion, that it is the work of the devil. And yes, I have read what the Vatican has warned about "New Age" religions (FYI: Yoga isn't even remotely new). Quite frankly, someone who is inclined to make an idol of yoga, turning it into an obstacle rather than a pathway to God, is probably just as likely to turn certain devotions within the church into idols or superstitions—from obsessing over the trappings of the faith, to burying a statue to sell a house, to leaving slips of papers in pews as a guarantee that a prayer will be answered. Idolatry comes in all forms; it doesn't take yoga to make that happen.

Permit me, then, to take you into my world of yoga, a world where Amen and Om happily coexist. During my early days of yoga, I threw myself into the practice. I even managed a yoga center for a while and began training to become a teacher, something I regretfully never completed.

I read the BhagavadGita and Pantanjali's Yoga Sutras.

I chanted.

And yet, when it came time to meditate on a mantra, I didn't want anything Sanskrit. I wanted Christian scripture, because that is my core. As I sat in half-lotus position with many other yogis-in-training, I breathed in and out to the words: "Be still, and know that I am God," or, "I am with you always." At a time of personal confusion and chaos, yoga gave me a peaceful place to reconnect with God, a way to listen to what He had to say above the din of my life, and an open door that led back to the richness of my own Catholic faith.

Over the years, my practice has waxed and waned, but inside me beats the heart of a Catholic yogi. When I recently returned to yoga class at my local YMCA, I was not on my sticky mat five minutes before I could feel myself smiling, my shoulders relaxing, and my heart singing. Different types of prayer methods work for different people and, for me, one thing is clear: Yoga is my entry into prayer, even in a sweaty, crowded YMCA studio.

Most people in this country don't do yoga as a spiritual practice. They do it because it helps their backs, or makes them more flexible. But I always hope for the daring YMCA teacher who inserts spiritual elements into a class. I don't do yoga to lose weight or get stronger, although those are surely side benefits. I do yoga to find that still, silent space at my center, where God can enter in.

Think of your own prayer life for a moment. Does kneeling help you enter more deeply into prayer? Does lying prostrate before an altar convey a sense of total surrender before God? In much the same way, yoga uses physical positions to help us reach spiritual heights, whatever our faith tradition.

As I stood on my mat last Sunday, listening to my teacher walk us through some difficult poses, he reminded us that we need to look at ourselves with compassion when we can't get something right, and he urged us to let that gentleness emanate outward when we left class. Yoga is about compassion.

My Monday night teacher, who belongs to my parish, starts each class by asking us to bow our heads and think about the "intention" we have for our practice. How beautiful and perfectly complementary to the intercessory prayer we practice as Christians. She always ends the class by saying: "Shanti (peace), shanti, shanti. Peace in our hearts, peace in our homes, peace on our planet." Yoga is about peace.

Finally, every yoga class ends the same way, with hands held in prayer position over the heart as we bow slightly to each other and say, "Namaste," which means, "the divinity (or light) in me bows to the divinity in you," not so dissimilar to the way Benedictine monastics have always bowed to "the Christ in each other" as they process in and out of choir. Having grown up believing that my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, this practice echoes my own Catholic beliefs. In fact, I should take that posture and attitude toward more people in my life, not just those on the mat next door. Yoga is about recognizing the presence of God, in ourselves and in the world around us.

I think a lot of fear and confusion stem from the unknown. People don't know what to make of the strange Sanskrit words, the poses with animal names, the chanting. There is a sense that if you do yoga, you must be exploring Hinduism or at the very least looking for something outside Jesus Christ. But nothing could be further from the truth for faithful Christians who use Eastern traditions to strengthen our prayer lives. We are not there to be converted away from our faith but to grow stronger in it through methods that influence our Catholic spiritual lives in powerful ways.

Many traditional Catholic devotions don't work for me. I'm really not that good at saying the Rosary. I struggle with the Liturgy of the Hours, even though I continue to pray it as often as possible. But the physicality of yoga as a way to enter into meditation? That feels as natural to me as breathing. And as I breathe in and out and bring my body to a point of stillness, I can feel myself inching closer to God, pose by pose.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Mindfulness minus the monastery


So yesterday my original plan was to head to a Buddhist monastery (Don't worry, I'm not switching teams) for a Day of Mindfulness. I wanted to see how it's done in other traditions and had hoped to experience a Buddhist walking meditation in addition to a dharma lesson and some really good vegetarian food. All for the price of a donation of my choosing. But, due to some nagging neck pain, I thought better of spending three hours round-trip in my car on top of almost two hours of sitting on a cushion on the floor and decided to do my Day of Mindfulness closer to home.

After getting the last of the kids off to school, I headed to the YMCA for my first spin class. Some may not think of this as mindful, but, in my world, any sort of repetitive motion that lets my mind settle into a deep place is the perfect recipe for mindfulness. Once I got past the jitters of knowing what to do and not to do in this class, I sank into that deep place, peddling fast, going up "hills," singing to the music, closing my eyes, and disappearing from the world.

I left refreshed and ready for Phase Two of my homegrown Day of Mindfulness. I loaded up my juicer and made a great big green drink for a late breakfast. This juicer sat in storage in a basement cabinet for 12 years. No exaggeration. I almost gave it away at least five times, maybe more. But every time I'd change my mind at the last minute in hopes that some day I would return to this healthy habit. Lo and behold, I came across a super cool book about healthy eating, drinking, and living -- Crazy, Sexy Diet by Karen Carr -- and my juicing mojo kicked in. The recipe changes from day to day, depending on what's in my fridge, but here's a general idea in case you want to give it a try:

3 or 4 stalks of celery
1 cucumber
1 granny smith apple
a handful of spinach
a few leaves of romaine lettuce
1 carrot
a few strawberries or a few cubes of watermelon (or both) depending on how sweet you want to make it

That makes one really big glass of green juice. It's surprisingly delicious and filling. Give a whirl if you have the time, equipment, and willingness to wash and peel and scrub lots of veggies. (If everything is organic, you don't have to peel.)

After my green drink, I did some professional housekeeping that probably shouldn't have been part of a Day of Mindfulness, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Still, I didn't obsess or panic or get too caught up in the email or even Facebook (that's a hard habit to break).

For a brief moment I considered that this might be the end of my Day of Mindfulness, but then I dragged our speaker out to the sunporch, loaded up my iPod with a recording of a yoga class by the teacher I had at Kripalu back in December, lit some incense, and proceeded to do an almost 90-minute series of centering, breathing, asanas, relaxation, and meditation. It was too awesome for words. I could hear the birds chirping, a lawn mower in the distance, leaves rustling. And when I was down on my mat, all I could see outside were trees and sky, allowing me to forget for a moment that the woods around us is gone.

Yoga was followed by a long shower and a healthy lunch of leftover couscous salad and a whole wheat pita with some lemon probiotic tea to wash it down. Then I moved onto the deck and sat in the sunshine while reading The Fire Starter Sessions. I'm using this fun and helpful book to reignite my creative fire, which was burned out after doing two books back to back. Good food for thought here and lots of helpful exercises and suggestions for all aspects of life.

Finally it was time for the kids to come home, the end of mindfulness, although I did try to at least remain calm, if not always mindful. The day proved to me what I already knew: I don't have to leave home in search of a monastery in order to bring mindfulness to my daily life. In fact, it's even better when it can happen right in the midst of the usual chaos. I still plan to get to the monastery for a "real" Day of Mindfulness with the monks and nuns, but, for now, I'm content with my own brand of meditation in motion.

If you like the idea of bringing mindfulness to the actions of your own sometimes-crazy life, stay tuned for my next book, Everyday Divine: A Catholic Guide to Active Spirituality, which will be out in November. I give you ten chapters chock full of very practical ways to bring the divine into the mundane. There's even a section of exercises in the appendix. I can't wait to share it with you. More to come on that front as we get closer to liftoff.

Signing off for now. Have a mindful and peaceful day.

Friday, May 25, 2012

What if you're already perfect?

I came across this passage in The Wisdom of No Escape and the Path of Loving-Kindness by Pema Chodron and just had to share a little Buddhist philosophy to complement the whole Christian idea that we are loved unconditionally exactly as we are right at this moment, "flaws" and all, by our awesome God.  (I guess I'm channeling my inner Thomas Merton today):

"Our wisdom is all mixed up with what we call our neurosis. Our brilliance, our juiciness, our spiciness, is all mixed up with our craziness and our confusion, and therefore it doesn't do any good to try to get rid of our so-called negative aspects, because in that process we also get rid of our basic wonderfulness. We can lead our life so as to become more awake to who we are and what we're doing rather than trying to improve or change or get rid of who we are or what we're doing."
So your mission this weekend, should you decide to accept it, is to contemplate your juiciness, your spiciness, and your craziness, not in an effort to change or "improve" but in an effort to see yourself as a brilliant whole, wonderfully made by God. Can you embrace the good along with the slightly off kilter? Try that attitude on for size and see how it feels.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Remind me who I am



I love this song by Jason Gray. I happened to hear it on K-LOVE one day, and a line jumped out and grabbed me: "If I'm your beloved, can you help me believe it?" Sold. Watch it through, soak it in, hear the message. You are God's beloved, no matter how you see yourself.

Here are the lyrics, if you're interested:

When I lose my way,
And I forget my name,
Remind me who I am.
In the mirror all I see,
Is who I don't wanna be,
Remind me who I am.
In the loneliest places,
When I can't remember what grace is.

Tell me once again who I am to You,
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You.
To You.

When my heart is like a stone,
And I'm running far from home,
Remind me who I am.
When I can't receive Your love,
Afraid I'll never be enough,
Remind me who I am.
If I'm Your beloved,
Can You help me believe it.

Tell me once again who I am to You,
Who I am to You, whoa.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You.
That I belong to You.
To You.

I'm the one you love,
I'm the one you love,
That will be enough,
I'm the one you love.

Tell me once again who I am to You.
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You, oh.

Tell me once again who I am to You.
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You.
To You.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Empty is the new full




My recent Life Lines column:

I can always tell when 6-year-old Chiara has had enough, or too much. She hangs onto my waist, cries at the drop of a hat, and, in the ultimate role-reversal, tells me she thinks she needs to go to bed rather than watch a TV show. You don’t have to be a parenting genius to figure out that her day was just too full.

Chiara needs her down time, even just an hour or so after school when there’s nothing to do but draw on the driveway with chalk, or swing toward the heavens in the backyard, or serve out some plastic ice cream in the play kitchen. She loves her dance classes and her Daisy troop and her karate, but when she gets a week where every afternoon is occupied, and maybe even a few evenings, the edges of her typically sweet demeanor start to fray. So why is it so surprising when the same thing happens to us as adults?

We go, go, go, always thinking we need to be doing at least two things at once, feeling like any downtime is a sign of laziness or, at the very least, serious lack of motivation. Even when we finally do sit down to “relax,” most of us bring along the laptop or iPod, the newspaper or crossword puzzle, a stack of bills or a work project.

When I recently finished one book manuscript only to begin another the very next morning, I found myself in the unlikely position of having nothing to say. I stared at my computer, not just for an hour but for a few days. The problem was not that I didn’t know what to write; I just couldn’t access it. It was buried too far below all the stress from the previous weeks. I had emptied myself out during the writing of one book, but I never filled myself back up before starting the next. I secretly wished I could just lean against the nearest person, à la Chiara, and whimper until someone made me a cup of cocoa and read me a book.

The emptiness I felt wasn’t just a professional emptiness either; it was a total emptiness. I felt physically drained and spiritually blank. I would sit in church and wait to feel something, anything, but I just didn’t have the emotional energy to get involved. In my heart I knew what I needed was a retreat, but my schedule – not to mention a silent retreat only six months ago – made that option unlikely. Rather than realize I needed to create a mini-retreat experience right here at home, I plodded along, trying to force my way back to normalcy despite everything that was screaming at me to find some chalk and just start doodling on the driveway, or some other equally silly but satisfying activity.

If we want to move forward in anything – professional life, family life, prayer life – we have to carve out time to be present in a moment, to do something totally unproductive and not feel an ounce of guilt, to act like a 6-year-old and maybe even whine and plead until we get that moment of pure joy we desire (and deserve).

As a retreat director of mine once said, “You are a human being, not a human doing.” Too often we forget that and lose sight of what it means to stop everything and just be.

I recently was doing a creative exercise that suggested I make a collage one day and write a poem the next. At first I scoffed, but then I went against my “better” (aka type-A) judgment and did it. Both my collage and my poem are now hanging where I can see them as I write, reminders that it’s necessary to take time out to recharge and relax.

Fly a kite, hike in the woods, cut up an old magazine and make your own collage. Find one hour to revel in doing nothing, and rediscover the joy of what it means to be a human being.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Catching up now that the storm is over

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of activity here. One book manuscript was edited, and a second book manuscript completed. I'm getting ready to head into the edits on the second one, so I figured I'd better show up here for an update before I disappear again.

Yesterday I had the privilege of meeting Jesuit Father James Martin, author of so many great books, among them My Life with the Saints and Between Heaven and Mirth. His keynote address was so unbelievably good. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time, and about faith and spirituality. If Father Martin is in your area, get a ticket and go. It will be a great experience. I promise. We need more joy in our Church, in our lives.

In other news, I spent time with Chiara and our Daisy troop at an "encampment" at Camp Is-Sho-Da this past weekend. Perfect weather for hanging outside with a bunch of energetic, twirling, dancing, giggling 6-year-olds. We made sit-upons and Memorial Day cards for veterans, decorated cupcakes, tie-dyed shirts, and sang silly songs. All the things Girl Scouts love to do.






Being let out of my basement office also means more time to get to know my "new" Nikon camera. I got it about nine months ago, but because of all my book deadlines, I haven't really had a chance to explore what it can do. Here are some shots of the lovely flowers blooming in our backyard right now. 
Bleeding Heart

Bleeding Heart

Trillium

Lilacs

Spring in our yard
Super Moon